Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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