Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
