Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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