ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
