Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize