His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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