Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
