Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
