Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize