is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
