why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize