They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You are a genius and a whore.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
