I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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