this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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