so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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