So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I'm always down for nudity.
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