She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Randomize
