community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
