Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
