hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
