After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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