Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
