She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
