it wasn't lemon gatorade
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
