i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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