i would punch a child for taco bell
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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