first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
