Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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