So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
