Non-Jews are for practice
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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