The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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