I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
