I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Let's paint friendship bongs
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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