I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
this just has baby written all over it
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
