in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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