You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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