if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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