i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
