after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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