Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
