Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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