its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize