well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I have post one night stand depression
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