In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
too bad you live with your parents still
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
