let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
