You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
