You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize