Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I still have a little drunk in my system
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
