Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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