thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
