I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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