He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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