Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
