i don't like sucking hair
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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