Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize