take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
