Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
