i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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