he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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