dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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