Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
