im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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