Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
