where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
