There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
