redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
