guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Buhtt sex?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
