My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
