so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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