They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
