I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
