Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
