bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize