im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
