what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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