im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
