worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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